Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Releasing You



By: Tony L. Jefferson, Jr.

The funk of depression kept me from truly discovering myself

Left me in a sort of purgatory state

I forgot how to be me

How to truly love and accept life as it comes

How to do my best to dictate my destiny

You didn’t want me moping, struggling to find a way

You wanted me happy and joyful, progressing in every way

So I’ll take the mantle

And begin to chill with the depressed antics of regression

For your purpose to truly live and prosper

I must live and prosper

So today, my love, as hard as it is for me to do

I must honor your memory by letting you be free

Free from the constraints of my memories

Free from worrying even when you’re not on earth

I must set you free from me without ever forgetting that it is you who truly set me free

Today, in front of God, family and friends, I release you Jackie

I will always love you

I will always cherish the memories we had

I know you’re looking down and praising this moment

I will struggle with it from this moment

But for now, I release you

But I’ll always need you

But you’re released because I’ll always find a way to make it

I love you eternally

But I must move forward

Our work isn’t yet done



Love

Sunday, July 13, 2014

My Worth




By: Tony L. Jefferson, Jr.

My worth is not my living dwellings, my vehicle or my clothing

My worth is what I provide to society

It's not the hue of my skin or my zodiac sign; it's who I am deep down inside

Not the longevity of my monetary ends or the position I hold at a job making money for someone else

My worth is what God defines me as

Not defined by ass, titties or other assets

Not my dick size or my foot length

Not my brain power on standardized test, designed to marginalize you anyway

Not what my friend, family, job or organization thinks

I’m just me

Living in obscurity

Because no matter the connections

No matter the connections I make in life

In the end, God is my only refuge

Not once have these organizations came to my aid

Nor have so called family and friends uplifted me in prayer

I’m an island

Left to bear the test of time

Wind is blowing shaking my very foundation

In all those times, God has been there

No one else but him

But he has done a few things with my friends and family

He sent them in his place

Guiding and helping me through the storms life will bring

Making me appreciate the support I do have

Making me less afraid to ask for help

Although my pride says no you’re a MAN and you need no help

I have the sense enough to know that I am not an island

Islands eventually get destroyed without support

I’m but a man

A human

Who desperately needs all of you to make it in this thing we call our world



Thanks in advance

Sunday, July 6, 2014

Heartstrings



By: Tony L. Jefferson, Jr.

Don’t play my heartstrings

Unless you’re willing to do a duet

Me and you and you and I

Side by side playing beautiful music

Singing soulful things to our hearts content

Confident but not boastful in our song

Rainfall comes to drown out our sunshine

But as with anything beautiful it needs a little hardship to grow beautifully

Our heart strings play the most beautiful music

Songs of pain, joy, happiness and defeat

Our heart plays beautifully, whether happy or sad

Listen to your heart



It’s singing a truthful song

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Clipped Wings



By: Tony L. Jefferson, Jr.

I came to the earth with clipped wings

Already fallen

I was but a shell waiting to rise again to my former prominence

Born into innocence and sin my path was chosen

The struggle of life is but a figment of your reality

Is it really a struggle or missed opportunities we’ve missed and are paying for

Maybe we should try listening

Listening to the soft song of the mourning dove

The music of the morning when God has yet again given us breath

I came to earth with clipped wings

A sinner upon birth

I was born to love unconditionally

Society told me to love selectively

Denying my fellow beings the love that they need

They told me to love as Christ loves, but at the same time they said it’s relative

The double speak of simple minded humans, who don’t know permanence only temporary lust

They say it’s me against the world, but I have little humans to think of

I can no longer be selfish

I came to earth with clipped wings

Imperfect



But perfectly human

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Filling Buckets (Thank you Sariah)



By: Tony L. Jefferson, Jr.

The entire world is a stage

Driven by violence and rage

To hate my brotha is all the rage

So I stand here on this here stage

To maybe help us find a way

Hopefully, you’ll hear the message and stay

Maybe if we tried a little love

Well, we’ve tried a little how about a lot

Pour it out like heaven pours blessings

Fill my cup till it overflows

They try to teach it in my daughter’s school

Filling buckets never emptying dreams

Every bucket we fill provides a more solid foundation

Every dream deferred can suddenly be fulfilled

If we simply loved as God loves

He doesn’t ask for flashy gifts, church donations or fancy clothes

Not even a building to call his own

All he asks is that you come together in his name

And people his name is

LOVE

GOD is LOVE


GOD is LOVE

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Yelling at the Sky




By: Tony L. Jefferson, Jr.

Sometimes at night

Deep into the night

I go outside and yell at the sky

I raise my voice to its highest octave

Then I cry my deepest cry

All of my anger goes into that cry

All of my sadness

My long lost tears

In the nighttime hour

When others are having the time of their lives

I sit here, in the dark, thinking of memories of you

I stare at the night sky wishing to catch a glimpse of you

When I yell at the sky, I hope that I yell enough for my voice to be heard by God

So that maybe, just maybe you will hear me

You my love



Hear how much I miss you

Saturday, May 24, 2014

Pictures of you


By: Tony L. Jefferson, Jr.

I still go back and look at pictures of you
Remenicing on the times we shared
You consume my thoughts daily
Especially in the quiet whispers of the night
Nights when i can almost hear your voice
Times when the wind blows and i can still feel your touch
I'm blessed by time captured in pictures
Pictures of you smiling, frowning or just there with the face of an angel
My tears still flow, my heart still hurts
But as you've told me don't weep or be saddened
I'll always be with you you just have to pause
When the breeze blows that's me
When the birds chirp to wake you in the morning that's me
When you stumble, i hope to catch you before you fall
But i know you, you'll always remain strong
Now as i look back at pictures
Even now when i cry from listening to "I Look to You" by Whitney
I'll always and forever love you
I'll be strong
The girls are in good hands
We're just fine down here
Till we meet again my love